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Me!!!!!!!!!

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gamer455
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« on: October 14, 2008, 10:12:08 pm »

Name::Joseph Mahoney
Age::15

Gender::Male

Appearence::He is a slim and fit kid that always wears a hat that his fater gave him before he died. He wears jeans a T-shirt and a sweat shirt. His hair is brown,long and shaggy.He also has a backpack that he carrys with him to put his extra clothes,sleeping bag,tent,a flint his undies,etc.


Personality::Joseph's personality is very easy going. He is a nice,loving person. He rarley gets mad and is very forgiving. He is very friendly and makes friends with just about everybody. He loves his family and friends and would do anything for them. He treats his friends like family. There is one way to really make him mad though is treating pokemon wrong and doing things to his friends or family.He also loves to cook and is very good at it.


History::His fater died when he was ten years old and before he died he bought him a hat and he never takes it off and it was the last thing that his father bought him before he died.His dream is to become the best pokemon trainer/breeder in the world.He has always been jelous of his older brother because he was the best trainer in his town and he wants to be better than him.
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Pikaman
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« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2008, 03:58:32 pm »

Name::Joseph Mahoney
Age::15

Gender::Male

Appearence::He is a slim and fit kid that always wears a hat that his fater gave him before he died. He wears jeans a T-shirt and a sweat shirt. His hair is brown,long and shaggy.He also has a backpack that he carrys with him to put his extra clothes,sleeping bag,tent,a flint his undies,etc.


Personality::Joseph's personality is very easy going. He is a nice,loving person. He rarley gets mad and is very forgiving. He is very friendly and makes friends with just about everybody. He loves his family and friends and would do anything for them. He treats his friends like family. There is one way to really make him mad though is treating pokemon wrong and doing things to his friends or family.He also loves to cook and is very good at it.


History::His fater died when he was ten years old and before he died he bought him a hat and he never takes it off and it was the last thing that his father bought him before he died.His dream is to become the best pokemon trainer/breeder in the world.He has always been jelous of his older brother because he was the best trainer in his town and he wants to be better than him.
Appearence needs to be more descriptice, such as what color is the backpack?  What style is it?  How big is it?  ect...  The personality is a bit one sided...  I don't see many flaws in his character.  All you typed was that he was nice, loving, and rarely gets mad.  You need to put two spaces, or atleast one after periods and you should watch the spelling, such as it's father, not fater.

Basicly he seems to have few flaws to his character...  Doesn't he have any bad secrets?  Any dislikes, ect?
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